Grace's sevice on Exile (Febuary 2001) invited the people there to write a psalm of exile, with Psalm 137 as an example. Ranging from personal experience to trying to understand the exile of others, some of the authors were kind enough to leave their psalms to be published on the website.

A Psalm of David - Selah!

from the arranger of music on the anniversary of the death of his niece.



Lord I am so angry!

You let us down so badly

How could you?



I am so hurt

I thought you wanted to heal

Why didn't you?



I am so disappointed in you

You could have answered my prayer

are my prayers so worthless?



Lord why did you cast us adrift

and have us lost in the blackness?

Even now after all this time I am still sad.

Will I live with sadness forever?

Did you allow this to happen so I would grow as a person?

was life not important

Does my sister just get on with life

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away - Ha!

Is that the best you can do?

But Lord - there is no-one else who can comfort.

In the end I guess there is only you.

So - Here I am again - Selah!

---

Exile



I came from a lost family.

Somewhere, a moment away, I don't know when

They lost who they were. They became unrooted.

The exile was dreadful - but what mattered is not what they took,

money, pride, language, anger, fears, hurts

but what they left their rootedness - they sought anonymity -

tolerance, were thankful for indifference

What matters is not the money, the power, the anger, the alienation -

but to find the sense of joy, acceptance,

strength, its inside you - god plants it in.

When am I home? What is home

-accepting friends who love me as

I am and God seeing and calling me in

---

Exile



some thing are part of me

like my friends and family

I'd cry if I had to leave them,

to be deserted on an island

some things I like are hard to miss out

like football training and cub scouts

god would always be with me

for comforting and company

I love homer and he's my pet

to part with him would make us fret

to be deserted would make me worry

I would say to god "I'm sorry!!"

I like to play computer games

and to leave them would be a shame.

But I have always got you lord.

with your strength and loving accord.

Amen



Harry Baker

---

Exile



I tried

but you didn't listen

Why?

What did I do?

You just threw me out

That's where I live

Yes, on the street

Of all the places, the street

All because of you!

I always felt sorry for people who had nothing

Now I'm one of them are you sorry?

Are you?

---

I know your touch, I feel your love.

Your peace is near. Your grace washes

I learn to try. I try to learn.

I'm confused. I fall down. I'm exiled. I'm confused

Are my leaders confused. Do they fall down.

Yet I'm exiled and I fall down

Oh my God, lead me into your presence

Into your way of everlasting

Did I ask too much. Am I not allowed to fail, to fall.

I need your perspective, your heart

lead me, lead us. Tend me, tend us.

---

It wasn't that we'd lived there long

A couple of centuries that's all

It wasn't that wonderful a place. Bricks & mortar. Rough walls. A roof.

A place of peace, a blessing from God

A place of welcome, a blessing to people

Our enemies wanted the land for their own. Defence and security they said

Not the home - they would build a new home easily enough

Their claim was strong:

Land given by God

Our claim was weak:

Land of our ancestors

Land of our birth

We have been taken to new land

Our home a temporary shelter

But we will praise our God

For he is still our God

We are blessed under canvas and stars

And there is still welcome here in His name

---

Exile



More than a day in the pit and despair

A whole existence without a future, not even a now

God don't let me be there.

Without Linda, friends, family,

life would seem without hope.

I would be so angry at you God

that I would have spit on the ground you have created.

Even though you probably would be

I wouldn't like you there

But still, but still, but still

You love me and I don't want you to stop.

God sustain my life, meet my anger and turn it your way.

Lead me through, but give me the time to work it out

Be with me and all in despair

---

Heavenly Father

You have given us 3 score and ten

70 years form our birth to our grave

70 years in exile, in struggle.

DO not forget your creations oh Lord

Forget not me as I make my way

When my heart grows faint.

when I struggle to advance

Cover me with your wings

breath on the embers of my spirit

restore my strength oh Lord!

Help me to live not perish

Acknowledge me my saviour

comfort me in my fearfulness

But for you, I would give up

Without you I would embrace the grave.

As I consider my destruction, call me back

As I surrender to despair, stay in my hand.

lift me on your wings

Embrace me with your love

Without you, I am empty, I am alone.

---

God - I can't hear you when I listen at night:

and gaze at flickering stars and full moon.

God - I can't see you when I wake:

in faces, moments, places and all the photos that I own.

God - I can't talk to you when I am on my own:

silence, blackness, emptiness swallow all my words.

God - can you hear me?

my cry for answers, for rest, for peace, and for justice.

God - can you see me?

my tears of anger, loss, isolation and longing.

God - can you talk to me?

tell me that you love me, tell me that it will be OK

I know that you are there, my God.

keep me strong

help me to believe

Amen.

---

Psalm 137 - rewrite



I sat at the dining room table after church with a coffee in my hand and

wept inside when I remembered the Kingdom vision of faith affecting all of

life and culture, and of God infusing all of reality with his inspiration

and Spirit igniting my soul with fire and excitement.



Yet the service was so bereft of any of this. It wasn't a one off either. .

. . .. .. The stereotypes of Christians in the culture ring too true - nice,

moral majority, quaint, well meaning, elderly but irrelevant to life today.

Friends always look surprised when they discover I go to church... ... why?



I can't sing at church any more - the words sound hollow and trite - like

the band playing nice jazz while the titanic sinks.



How can I express what is inside in this situation of exile? But I mustn't

lose the vision - if I lose the vision I have wasted my life!



It would be easy to blame the gods of postmodernism and see them as the new

Babylon but I fear the enemy is within. The church is where the surgery is

needed. I wish you would go and drown in the sea so we could start again

from scratch.

---

Exile



A secure future, mapped out, triumphant, successful

Shattered by a broken roof

Homeless

Friendless

We thought we'd heard God

But he was saying something very different

And had to use drama, storms, crashes and falling ceilings

To make himself heard over our smug complacency

We tried to hear again.

Started again

Lots of change, feelings of being let down, rejected

struggling to survive.

An enforced separation from present and expected future

Became a journey to a new present and a different future

Bleak days, loneliness, abandonment

led the way to a new home, new role, new friends, new future

Thankyou Lord for showing that Lord

and for staying with us as the echoes faded, the rubble settled,

If I get that complacent, that safe, that secure

Do it again

Do it again.

---

Exile



Its a very lonely place

I don't know what to say

Have I missed your face

Or are you showing me the way



I'm finding this quite scary

I haven't been here before

The structures that I'm used to

Are no longer the law



I'm searching for perfect freedom

The liberty to be me

Is this your kingdom?

Is Jesus still the key



My friends don't understand

they're content to stay

You're taking me on an adventure

You are the potter, I am the clay.



Please protect me Lord

I don't want to get it wrong

I want to know your nearness

may my life be a song



I dedicate myself to you

You're showing me the way

I want to be found in your truth

If that's OK.



Sharon Downing