I’m writing in a cold-induced stupor, with a heavy, wobbly, clogged-up head. Sparing any more gory detail, suffice it to say that the past few days of a cold have not put me in the reflective, spiritual, contemplative mood I wanted to cultivate during Holy Week.

I considered skipping my blog post, because I wasn’t up to it. I felt like I couldn’t come up with anything thoughtful enough, because all I want to do these days is curl up under a blanket and sleep or watch mindless television. And that doesn’t seem deep enough for Lent.

Suddenly I realised that that was the point. I didn’t feel good enough, able to perform well enough. I am not up to the task in front of me. That is the exact point of Lent. Our Lenten disciplines only serve to illustrate (especially for those of us who’ve failed in them) that Lent is not about being “good enough for God” once in the year.

All of our disciplines, self-examination, reflection, confession and penance are not points scored with God. Whether we succeed or fail in our Lenten disciplines, the point of them is not to prove to God that we are good enough. The love of God is not something we earn by being good enough. It has been given to us freely, when we have not earned or deserved it. God’s love for us is forever proven on the cross, in the events which we remember this week.

So, I write to remind myself not that I’m good enough, but that His love is constant. For tonight at least, I shall go to bed letting the comfort of God’s love push through my clogged head. What else would be different in my life if I stopped caring about being good enough?