the in-flight movie on the way back from moscow was 'enchanted', in which a disney fairytale princess finds herself transformed by the wicked queen into a real human being in new york "where there are no happy endings". she is desperate to go back to her cartoon world to marry her prince, but when he turns up in the real world to rescue her she finds that she prefers what she has become [and the lawyer who helped her] to the fairytale. which put me in mind of another in-flight movie, 'the devil wears prada', where the heroine's life is transformed by the wicked editor-queen in a way that most would desire - "everyone wants what we have," says the editor as they step out of a limousine in paris. at which point our cinderella flees, leaving only a mobile phone behind, and returns to her dowdy old life.

two fairytale transformations, then, one accepted even though apparently 'down', one rejected even though apparently 'up'. life changes us, and god changes us. sometimes we seek it, sometimes it's against our will. do we accept or reject what we are becoming, and on what grounds? how much choice do we have? i believe we have an inner compass from god, which tells us where the true path is, where our true self in god is, even when we are dragged away from what we thought were our hopes and dreams, even when we are dragged away by god. but it's hard to tell maturity from damage, sometimes. i have to keep giving myself back to god, have to trust and say to god "who do you think i am?"

and now i have to post this by midnight, or turn into a pumpkin :)