(photo: Jonny Baker)

I have led a Lent course over the last few weeks on desert spirituality. It meant that my Lent has been incredibly busy with preparation on top of work; I've felt like a complete hypocrite standing in front of people and encouraging them to embrace solitude and silence when I have had so little myself.

Solitude is a choice to withdraw from the world to spend time with God. It’s about getting rid of all distractions and all the things that make us feel comfortable and secure. It’s more than finding privacy or personal space, or having rest and relaxation. Solitude is being honest and open with God about who we are, and whose we are - it’s the place where we discover who God really is. It’s the place where we have to admit to our own sin and brokenness. It's the place where we are transformed.

There was a brother in a monastery who had a rather turbulent temperament; he often became angry. So he said to himself, ‘I will go and live in my own. If I have nothing to do with anyone else, I shall live in peace and my passions shall be soothed.’ Off he went to live in solitude in a cave. One day when he had filled his jug with water he put it on the ground and it tipped over. So he picked it up and filled it again – and again it tipped over. He filled it a third time, put it down and over it went again. He was furious; he grabbed the jug and smashed it. Then he came to his senses and realised that he had been tricked by the devil. He said, ‘since I have been defeated, even in solitude, I’d better go back to the monastery. Conflict is to be met everywhere, but so is patience and so is the help of God. So he got up and went back to where he came from.

That monk discovered in solitude that his bad temper was not caused by other people who were being unreasonable – it was deep within him. So solitude is the place where we face our own brokenness, but it’s also the place where we dwell in the gentle healing presence of Jesus and where we are transformed to be like him. As well as being aware of our brokenness, we become more aware of the nature of God and of his transforming power.